Ranma Lied
by tyron23
Summary: Umm Yeah


Ranma Lied

Warning: This is a spamfic/omake. I have no intentions of turning this into a regular fic. If you want to steal the idea and run with it tell me, I want to read what your demented mind comes up with. :)

Disclaimer: Umm yeah. I don't own this stuff. If I'm lying Nyuu will come rip me apart with her MIND BULLETS!!!

The scene shifts out to show two people walking along a dirt trail. Both were wearing white gi's with black belts and they were both carrying large backpacks that looked quite heavy to the casual observer. The elder of the two also had glasses on his face and a handkerchief on his head presumably to cover up his shiny bald head. Neither of them were wearing shoes but since their feet were heavily calloused anyway neither of them would have cared too much about the rough ground they were treading on.

Strangly enough if you switched your vision to the ultra violet spectrum you would see 'kick me' written on the back of the elder gentleman's gi. What kind of sick joke this was only the gods knew. And they weren't telling.

As they crested a small hill they beheld the end of their journey. The brochure listed it as the legendary training grounds of Jusenkyo. Of course to the younger of the two it just looked like a bunch of bamboo poles sticking out of a bunch of stupid ponds. He gave a dismissive snort.

"So this' what you dragged us halfway accross China for pop?" He asked as he looked again. Maybe if the ponds were filled with acid or something.

"Come on boy it's a legendary training ground. We came all this way no use turning back without at least trying it out." The older man said as he started walking again.

"Wouldn't have even had to be here if you could read Chinese." Ranma grumbled as he followed his father.

As they approached the pools they were met by a seemingly portly man in a Chinese Mau uniform. He looked nervous and twitchy for some reason. Ranma gave a cursorary look around and thought that he saw a shock of pink hair sticking out from behind the shack that the man had come out of. He dismissed it as an illusion then turned back to where the man was babbling on about some curse or something or other.

"Come on boy." Genma said as he jumped to the top of one of the poles.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming." Ranma grumbled as he jumped to the top of another pole. He'd been doing this since he was eight, so balancing on the bamboo was second nature to him by now.

"What you doing sirs. You come down now!" The guide babbled as if afraid for his life.

Neither combatant listened to him though as they jumped from pole to pole trading blows. As it was they looked like they were seriously trying to kill each other. Little did they know this was only a casual spar. As it turned out Ranma got the first solid hit in, knocking his father into one of the pools. The guide of course had to make a comment.

"Ahh sirs you fall into spring of drowend regenerator, now whoever fall into spring regenerate all damage done. Mr. Customer very lucky fall in spring."

Genma of course never heard any of this as he was underwater. Not knowing anything about the curse that he was now under he jumped out of the pool and attacked his son. Ranma who was listening to the guide let his guard down for a couple of seconds. A couple of seconds was all Genma needed to jump from the pool and smack his stunned son deep into Jusenkyo, right into a small pool. Nothing but net... 2 points.

"Aiya young Mr. Customer fall into pool of drowned Dioclenis. Not so tragic tale of homicidal Dioclenis that drown there 10 minutes ago. Umm I be running now Mr. Customer. Hot water turn back." The guide said as an afterthought as he took off as fast as he could towards the Amazon village. He may have been paid well but that girl had been exceedingly dangerous.

Genma of course couldn't see what the guide was babbling about so he did the Genma thing and stayed to wait for his son. All this talk of curses was superstitious rubbish. Why he'd fell into one of those pools and he'd never felt better in his whole life.

Of course just after he finished thinking those thoughts his son decided to emerge from the pool. Son being a loose iteration of the thing that came out of the pool.

Where there was once a young man there was now a young girl. She looked to be just a bit smaller than he had been before he'd hit the pool. She had nice curves and a generous bust that was outlined quite nicely by the wet gi clinging to it. Her hands were delicate and quite nice looking. Where there had been black hair it was now a lusterous pink. Finally where there were once blue eyes that sparkled with life there were now only red eyes that promised pain and death.

Oh yes and a couple of little horns on top of her head. Can't forget the horns.

"Pop you are so DEAD!!" The now girlified Ranma yelled as she jumped out of the pool.

Genma was quite stunned by this turn of events and as such didn't dodge the bamboo pole that was ripped out of the ground by some invisible force and hurled at bullit like speeds through his chest. Looking down he noted the splintered bamboo pole sticking out of his chest where his heart was. He idly noted that the rest of it was sticking out of his back. He was so stunned that he never even felt the other 5 bamboo poles pierce his body before everything went black.

Ranma walked over to where her father lay dead. She gave a cruel smile as she pulled the poles out of her father's corpse.

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"Fiancee!" Came the simultanious shout from three girls follwed by a quieter. "Oh my."

The Tendo sisters have just learned about their fiancee.

"Really daddy do you think you could have told us sooner." The middle daughter said with a snort. She was dressed in short shorts and a wifebeater.

"Yeah picking our fiancee for us really." The youngest said in a huff. She was still in her yellow gi from before.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"That must be them now." Soun stood up and rushed towards the door.

A few seconds later an unconscious Soun came flying back down the hallway. Literally. He was followed shortly afterwards by a young girl with pink hair and red eyes. Oh yes and horns.

"And you are?" Nabiki said as she regarded the newcomer that invaded their house.

"Ranma. Ranma Saotome." The new girl said.

"Some fiancee this is." Nabiki said with contempt towards her parental unit. "Couldn't you have at least made sure that Saotome san's son was a boy." She finished off by reaching out and grabbing one of Ranma's breasts and fondled it.

"Hurk!" She intoned as she was suddenly lifted off the ground by an invisible hand that grabbed her around the throat and started choaking her. She tried to claw or pry it away but to no avail.

"I find your lack of faith... disturbing." The girl said in a calm voice.

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Authors notes:

There we go. Yeah that's it. This came about because I watched Episodes 4,5, and 6 all together after watching the latest episode of Elfin Lied. As I stated above I will not be continuing this. If you want to take the idea and run with it. I don't care if I get credit or not. (would be nice but not necissary.) The only thing that I'd like is to read what you come up with.

If you want to do it pls e-mail me 

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Oh yes and one more thing.

"Oh my god you killed Genma!! You Bastard!!!!"


End file.
